![]() But here we are now, you’re 80, and you’re even older than grandma’s jokes. #19 Happy Birthday, dad! When I was a little kid, you never told me life was going to be so long. #18 “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.” Kidding aside, you will always be fresh and brimming with vibrant youth in your heart and soul. Since you can’t remember, let’s just call it your golf score. #16 “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” You’ll need it to get someone to bring you the remote control. I say you better keep your memory close as well. #15 They say that old people need to keep their people as close as they can. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” #14 “It takes only one drink to get me drunk. There’s no greater pleasure than being loved by you. You’ve always been, and I wish you another 80 years of happiness and joy with the ones you love the most. No, I didn’t also say that to my other grandma. #13 Happy birthday, grandma! You’re the best grandmother I could ever wish for. ![]() Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.” #12 “Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Live your life at the fullest, but don’t forget to take your meds. I mean that the best is yet to come, and the game starts at 100. #11 80th birthday, huh? It reminds me of the videogames when they are 80% loading… Oh no, I don’t mean that. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’” #10 “A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. Well, I’ve never tasted wine as old as our friendship, but one thing I can say for sure is that no wine could give me the happiness that our friendship does. #9 They say that friends are like wine because they get better with time. #8 “Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” May you have an amazing day, surrounded by everyone you love. I hope you’re good at math because you’re going to have to keep on counting. #7 80 years? Wow! A lot of people don’t even know how to count to 80. #6 “You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.” But I also wish you the very best of your years on this earth! Though 80 years are quite a lot of years compared to mine, they are few compared to the ones I wish for you. #5 On this special day, I wish you less coughing, better hearing, and easier mobility. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.” #4 “First you forget names, then you forget faces. I’m honestly very happy that you are a part of my life. ![]() Your sweetness and appetite for adventure give me hope for mankind. You’re the youngest, old person I’ve ever known in my life. #3 You’re 80, but you don’t look like it. #2 “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. Also, be generous and make sure to share some wisdom with me. Now that you know everything about life, I really wish that you enjoy it. There are 80 years of experience right here. #1 Enjoy the time when you can actually predict the weather with your knees. You can use these sayings and quotes in a card, in a toast, as part of a poem, or as part of a speech. Here are funny 80th birthday sayings and quotes for a friend or loved one who is turning 80 years old.
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